This morning, I had what was quite possibly the stupidest dream I’ve ever had.  Thankfully, it was also one of the shortest.

I was in my kitchen making chicken-flavored ramen, but I wasn’t doing it in the way a normal person would.  I got a bowl from the cupboard, set it on the counter, and carefully placed the dry clump of ramen noodles into the bowl.  Then I opened the packet of seasoning and, also very carefully, poured the contents in a small, neat pile over the top of the noodles.  Then I went to the stove and turned on the burner underneath the teapot, which was already full of water.

As if this wasn’t a stupid dream already, I decided to inspect my handiwork with the noodles and seasoning, so I poked my nose right next to the bowl and peered into it.  Everything I saw there seemed satisfactory, so I straightened up and moved the bowl onto the stove next to the warming teapot.  It was then that I noticed (pause for dramatic effect) that. . .I had spilled a bit of the seasoning on the counter.   That’s when I got perturbed and woke up.

What are you doing to me, Brain?  Why do I have to waste my precious REM time on this ridiculous pabulum?  Not only that, Brain, but you of all brains know that I have a blog, and that I’m gonna write about this, and that you’re not gonna end up looking too good when it’s all over.  There are tens tons tens of people who will read this and agree that this is well below your usual dream standards, Brain.

I’m not threatening you, I’m just saying you can (and should!) do better than this from now on.