It happened again.  I woke up at a little before five o’clock this morning, to the sound of two raccoons in the bushes cooing at each other and making sweet, sweet love.  Le Sigh.

After they had both finished and had the raccoon equivalent of a cigarette, I was finally able to get back to sleep.  I had a dream that BoringFish had been married to Eddie Van Halen (of course), but that she had recently split up with him, so she wanted to go out on a date.  She was wearing a little black dress, ready for a night on the town, so we were flipping through MessengerGodAlternativeNewspaper and deciding what to do, when we saw an advertisement for “Beautiful, Funny, Sad & True”, which appeared to be some sort of escort service.  “Did you see that?” she asked.  “Yeah,” I said, flipping the page back so we could look at it more closely.  We couldn’t believe it, and both burst out laughing.  Just then, her mom poked her head over BoringFish’s shoulder, and made a comment like, “Well, that’s the difference between [something] and poonanny.”  (How I wish I could remember what the first thing was!)  We were both uncomfortable with her mom watching us, so BoringFish turned to me and asked, “Do you want to look at this later?”  I smiled and replied, “Yes.  And no.”

Then I woke up to my alarm clock.

I hit the snooze button and fell asleep again.  My dream was in darkness, but I could feel a cat walking on the bed.  I was lying on my back, and I could feel the cat walking all around my left side, behind my pillow next to the wall, and then along my right side and settling itself next to my right hip.  I opened my eyes in the dream, and there was an orange long-haired tabby cat there.  I started petting it.  Was that my childhood pet Mickey, visiting me from beyond the grave?!

I guess I’ll never know, because I was awakened just then by someone walking down the back stairs of my apartment building, and down into the laundry room.  At 7:00 in the morning.  What the huh?

I can’t remember the third dream I had, but it was interesting enough that it got me out of bed to write all three of them down.  If I remember it later, I’ll add it.

[EDIT:  I remembered it!  Here it is. . .

It was a movie trailer, believe it or not, for a movie called “Broken.”  There was a background of pictures of war, and a plane crash, and things like that.  The film was kinda blurry (on purpose) and digitally zoomed way in, so that we could read the red letters that would fade in and out with every new phrase:  “Broken. . .when it seems. . .like nothing. . .seems to work anymore.”

That’s it.  That’s the third dream.  Nice, snappy little tag line, eh?  JBJ’s gonna love it.  Reminds me of “In space, no one can hear you scream.” and “All he wanted to do was gleem the cube. . .till they killed his brother.”  Awesome.]

Sure wish I could just sleep through the night, like all of you normal people seem to have no trouble doing, but then I guess it’s my lot in life to suffer, in order to keep bringing you this Great Art.

And now I’m going to be really late to work.  I’m supposed to be there already.  Yikes.