beautiful, funny, sad & true

This morning at work, I said good morning to someone I rarely see or get a chance to talk to, while I was loading paper into my printer. “Busy weekend?” she asked.

“Yeah. I have two big shows, actually.”
“Oh really? What do you. . .do?”
“Musician.”
“That’s a nice little hobby, huh?”

Nice little hobby, yeah. Thanks for reducing it to that.

I had a job a few years ago that I quit from because it almost killed me. I’m not exaggerating. It did kill my spirit; at least for a while. This was also just at the the time when I was getting into recording and music production. So I quit, and two weeks later, on the day that I left, a guy walked up to me and said, “Well. . .good luck with your career or whatever.” The funny thing is, he actually thought that he meant well.

For everyone else who’s reading this, I have two shows and a recording session this weekend. The first is with Stephanie’s band, as part of the Voices For Silent Disasters series that starts tonight. Tomorrow night is a Breanna Paletta full-band show, and then Sunday is an ‘acoustic’ recording session with Breanna. Last I heard I’ll be playing cello, and maybe accordion and xylophone; things like that.

Nice little hobby I’ve got going for myself. Hope it all works out or whatever.

To continue on a theme that I started recently, I’ve been feeling better lately; better enough, in fact, that I don’t want anything to mess up my equilibrium. So I’ve pretty much given up coffee for the last week and a half, and only had wine a couple of nights in the last two weeks. I’ve been feeling much more like my happy-go-lucky self again, and less anxious and weird all the time.
This weekend, however, I had a couple of funny things happen that upset the metaphorical apple cart. Joan and I went out to see Paris Je T’aime on Friday night, and afterwards we went for sushi. After THAT, we went to Pix Patisserie for dessert. It was pretty fantastic, of course, but we also had a couple cups each of decaf coffee, which despite its name actually does contain some caffeine, as you know. So that, combined with the super-concentrated sugar in the dessert, kept me awake until around two in the morning.

At noon on Saturday, I went to the studio to play some parts for the new Susie Blue CD. (I played accordion, xylophone and Omnichord, just in case you’re keeping track.) I felt all cracked out and anxious the entire time, in a way that was obviously brought on by our post-movie binge the night before. After we were done recording, Susie invited EngineerJason and me to her dinner party that night. She, Jason and a couple of other people had gone mushroom hunting the previous day, so mushroom ravioli was on the dinner menu. Everything was made by hand, and it was mind-blowingly good. Naturally we had to have good wine with it, and also naturally, we had way too much of it, especially considering my practically monastic regimen these last couple of weeks.

So yesterday I was completely hung over. Slept till eleven, then just kinda dragged around for most of the day. I did manage to clean my kitchen and bathroom, though, so the day wasn’t a complete bust. Joan called at around five-thirty, and then she and I went to dinner at a new vegan restaurant called Nutshell. The food was incredible, and the service was fantastic, but there were a couple of things I think are worth mentioning that would keep me from giving it the glowing recommendation that it would otherwise get. The two-person tables are about a foot apart, which some people may not be bothered by, but Joan and I both felt pretty uncomfortable and self-conscious. Plus, when customers are getting up to leave or wash their hands, or waiters are delivering food, you’re more likely than not to be bumped, or get someone’s ass in your face, or worse. Plus, the room itself is reverberant and noisy enough that it can be a difficult to hear your own conversation, but everyone else around you is extremely audible. Like I said; these things may not bother other people, but introverts may have a tough time at Nutshell. To be fair, the restaurant is brand new, and I’m sure these quirks–and a few others that have been mentioned in various reviews–will be worked out over time. The food really is unique and stellar, and I’m definitely going back, but it’ll have to be a time when I’m in the mood for that kind of environment.

Today I’m back on track with the aforementioned monastic regimen, and I’m finally starting to feel my equilibrium returning. It was interesting, though, to have a test to see how all of the new changes have been working for me. I wanted to eliminate things that have been acting on my body, and keeping me on the roller coaster, so to speak, and I think giving up the coffee has made the biggest difference. I feel like I’m getting my easy friendliness back, and my sense of humor too; not to mention the fact that I’m even sleeping better. Crazy, how much something that we take for granted as a part of daily life can have such profoundly negative and strange effects on us.

Crazy how serious and long this blog entry is!

Tonight I’m meeting Crystin Byrd and her husband for dinner, and tomorrow night I have a Breanna Paletta gig. Breanna has another multi-instrumentalist friend who’ll be joining us on mandolin, and I’ll be playing cello, so this should be a cool combination. It’ll be the first time we’ve met or played together. Fun!

Here’s to a good pre-birthday week. The Big Day is now only seven days away!

Here are a few pictures from the play reading the other night.

The guy with the beard is the playwright.
The guy with the accordion and no beard is me.

This is Todd Sabel, the director. In the world of The Theatah, however, he’s known as T. Austin Sabel.

These readings are great fun, and I’m tremendously honored to have the privilege of attending them. Thank you, Todd, for giving me the opportunity!

Yeah, that last one was funny and everything, but now it’s time for a more ‘real’ entry.

I’ve been feeling a little strange all week; a little bit lonely, a little bit sad, and a little bit exhausted from work. I’ve even thought about writing to Kelly again lately, but I still don’t think that’s a good thing for me to do, so I’ve resisted that impulse.

In a way, I’ve been so busy these last few weeks that it sort of kept me from feeling the loss of that relationship, but now that my schedule has eased up a bit, I’ve had more time to feel it, and I’m not gonna lie; it’s been hard lately. Luckily, I have friends I can call to talk about it with, and who understand. But there are still some quiet times when I find myself missing her.

Tonight I went to another play reading with Todd Sabel and his theater group. The play they read was called “Dirty Water”, and I took my accordion and provided improvised background music and sound effects (WATER sound effects, no less. Who knew?). The play was written a couple of years ago by a local playwright named Devon Granmo for his college thesis. Hilarious and strange play, and even though it’s been performed before, it seems like it might actually be a work in progress. The playwright was there at the reading with us, which was really interesting. He stopped the group once or twice during the reading to say, “Oops. . .I forgot to change this part. Start HERE and then go BACK and start at this OTHER section.” He also asked for feedback from the group afterwards. If some pictures float up to the surface–and I have a feeling they will–I’ll be sure to post them here.

Oh yeah. . .there was something else interesting that happened at the reading. There was a woman there who wasn’t at the last reading I was at, who apparently plays the cello. When Todd introduced us, she asked how I found out about the theater group, and I told her Todd invited me to come play at one of them a month ago, and that I played cello the last time. She said, “You play cello? How would you feel about playing with twelve other cellists?” “You mean the Portland Cello Project?” I asked. “I’d LOVE to. I’m friends with Skip and a couple other people, and I’d love to come play.” “Well, they’re looking for new members; you should come down.” “Count me in, DEFINITELY.” The Portland Cello Project, if you haven’t seen them before, is an amazing group. I’ve been wanting to go and play with them for almost a year now, but so far I’ve been too busy with the bands I’m already in. Now that it’s fall and I have a little more free time, I’m going to take that opportunity, for sure. Groups like PCP are the reason I started playing cello in the first place.

The rest of the week has been pretty uneventful, quite frankly. I’ve spent much more time than usual at home, cleaning my apartment (which was long overdue) and trying to relax and deal with the hundreds of different feelings I’ve been feeling lately.

The moral of the story is that I think I could use another hug.

I have a whole bunch of things I’ve been wanting to write about, but they’re all very disparate and random, so I think I’ll have to settle for an update, at least for now.

Wednesday night I was invited to record some guitar parts and maybe other things too) by BassPlayerChris who plays in Breanna’s band. One of the other people he plays with is named Matt Vrba (yes, that’s spelled correctly; it’s pronounced VERB-uh), and Matt wrote a Christmas song, and he and the band were recording it. They needed some other textural instruments, so Chris called me. I ended up playing electric guitar, xylophone, and Casio keyboard on the song. It was a blast. First time I’d met Matt, but he’s a great guy. Can’t wait to hear how the song turns out. We recorded at Opal Studios with a guy named Kevin Hahn, and everything sounds really great. I’d recommend him without hesitation. It wouldn’t surprise me if our paths cross again.

Last night, Stephanie’s band played at the Hawthorne Theater. We played well, but it was kind of a tough gig. We opened for a well-known band from Canada, but I think we all kinda felt like we’d been jerked around, from the minute we walked in the door. The show was scheduled to start at 8:00, so we all arrived about 6:45. Well-Known Canadian Band was just starting their soundcheck. Someone came and told us that the show was scheduled to start at 9:00, but we’d been telling everybody to be there at 8:00. In addition to that, we were originally scheduled to play first, then a DJ would play for a half-hour or so, and finally Well-Known Canadian Band would play. This seemed like an odd choice of ‘flow’ for a show, so we asked if the DJ could play first. This was agreed to, but we still needed to have a soundcheck too. Fifteen minutes before the doors opened, Well-Known Canadian Band finished their soundcheck, and we were finally allowed to set up our instruments on stage. Luckily, their drummer invited DrummerDrew to use his drums, which cut down dramatically on set-up time, but we still had precious little time to test the vocals, acoustic and electric guitars, bass, and accordion. Plus, can I just take a minute to mention that the sound guy was a complete amateur? Thank you; because he was. Steph’s acoustic guitar kept feeding back during the show, and I didn’t even get to test my accordion’s microphone before the show started. These things are all pretty much unheard of in professional venues. In any decent-sized venue where there are multiple bands on the bill, each band usually gets a half hour or so to test everything, so that the sound crew knows what they’re dealing with and they can make the groups sound as good as possible.

All that aside, the venue was also very strange. It’s an all-ages place, so what they’ve done is divide the room in half; front and back. The front (by the stage) is all-ages, and the back half is the bar area. While we played, it was still early, so everyone was still in the bar area, which meant we were playing to a great big hardwood floor and a half-empty room, which felt a little bit insulting. As performers, all we have to gauge our performance is the audience. If we feel like they’re distant and unresponsive, it’s a bummer, because we either feel like they aren’t enjoying themselves, or that we’re not doing a good enough job.

So all that, combined with the showtime issues, made for a frustrating experience.

The good news about the show was that BoringFish was there. It was great to see her, even though conversation was a little difficult; shouting over a band isn’t the most conducive environment. But she’s great, and shouting at each other is infinitely better than not seeing each other at all.

The other good news about the show is that the band played well. DrummerDrew and BassistWill are really fun to play with, and they’re getting comfortable and stretching out in a great way. Last night was also the debut gig for my new guitar amp (not to mention the new amp stand that I bought while I was on my lunch break), and it sounded fantastic. So that was really nice, but the gig itself was still really frustrating, overall.

This week at work has been infinitely more stressful than usual, too. Normally there are two other people (or sometimes even three) who work in my department, but this week one of them had her grandmother die, and the other has a daughter who just had her first baby. So Wednesday, Thursday and today I was alone. It was totally crazy, and I’m totally exhausted, which is why I’m sitting here writing in my blog and doing laundry on a Friday night, despite a couple of offers to go out.

In other news, I’m going to a Music Business workshop tomorrow afternoon, to learn about contracts, distribution deals, production deals, and all that sort of stuff. There’s a guy here in town who’s an entertainment lawyer, and he’s given workshops and lectures about these issues regularly (but not often) for two or three years now. He’s a really great guy, and I’ve wanted to attend one of his workshops for quite a while. This comes at the perfect time, too, because I’ve had lots of good opportunities come my way recently, and I hope to be able to capitalize on them.

And now I’m going to get off the computer, because I’ve spent all day using one at work, and I’m starting to get sore. Plus, I bought a DVD today called “The Legend of 1900”, which my friend Leila told me I need to see. I stumbled upon a used copy at Everyday Music, so I decided to go ahead and buy it. I think I’m going to go watch it now.

I hope all’s well with you.