beautiful, funny, sad & true

Well, I made it through the rough patch.

I don’t know why it hit me so hard, but there was a combination of factors that led to that little meltdown. Add a few sad dreams–I’ve had a few brutal ones lately–and a liberal dose of exhaustion, and that makes a perfect recipe for depressive episode.

I walked to work three days this week. It’s about a half-hour walk each way, so I get a pretty decent amount of exercise when I do that, and it’s a great way to wake up, too.

Luckily, my dreams have also been more normal. Well, okay; normal for me. The one last night involved a friend of mine who was selling a brand new BMW (but it looked more like a swoopier, sportier SmartCar) to a guy he met online. My friend needed me to go over with him to help drive it over. The guy lived in a town that was perched on the edge of a cliff that overlooked the ocean, like Big Sur or something, so we drove through a curvy, mountainous road, and through an old mining area with a water slide (I don’t know, it was a dream!). When we arrived at his house, I saw that he had a drum set, but it wasn’t like any that I’d ever seen before, so I was trying to figure out if I could jump back there and play it while the guy was testing out the car. There, you see? Completely normal dream.

Tonight is RockShowGirl’s birthday, the third of the three Capricorn girls I know. I could barely keep my eyes open at work, so I’d love to take a nap before heading downtown, but I don’t know if I’ll actually do it.

My friend Maddy has been raving about a book called The Unhooked Generation for weeks now, and I finally made it to the library today. Coincidentally enough, it turned out that today was the perfect day to go, because there was a woman working there who seems to be exactly my type, who I’d very much like to ask out when I go back. I normally wouldn’t share that here, but I did for the simple reason that I’m a little bit shy, and I’m more likely to do it if I’ve told someone about it.

I also checked out some DVD’s; Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, and Mondovino, an excellent documentary which I’ve actually seen before. It’s about the wine industry, and it compares the ‘new’ practices of the industry–led by American companies, naturally–with the more traditional, mostly European ones. It runs the gamut from the super-ultra-mega-producers like Robert Mondavi to a tiny French vineyard run by a single octegenarian gentleman, and everything in between. Alyssa and I saw the movie about a year ago, and I think you can probably imagine which we preferred, and found ourselves rooting for.

Tomorrow night is a Susie Blue gig, and although I’ve played accordion or keyboards with her for two years now, this will be the first time I play cello with her, and I’m very much looking forward to it. Our rehearsals have felt great.

The rest of the weekend is wide open. Here’s to some wide openness!

This week has been very strange and emotional. Been to visit MostRecentExGirlfriend in the hospital a couple of times, and I’m planning to go again today. Suffice it to say that I feel very churned up by all of this. She’ll be out in another day or two, and we’ll see how she fares. I have all my fingers crossed, my legs crossed, even my eyes are crossed hoping that she’ll be okay once she’s out and on her own again.

In other and better news, TossedIn and I did more geocaching yesterday afternoon. There are lots of good pictures to come. Mine are ready, but T also took a bunch, and I want to be able to include them too. Well, okay, here’s one:

Portland has a whole bunch of water storage reservoirs scattered throughout the parks in the city. There are two or three in Mount Tabor Park, and then there are others in Washington Park too. This one is in Washington Park, and it’s empty. I’ve lived here for twelve years, and this was the first time I’ve ever seen one empty. I don’t know if that means we’re having some sort of water shortage, or if the tank is just being cleaned or something. The angles and shading caught my eye, so I took a bunch of similar shots.

Came home, ate dinner and laid low for a while, then T and I met up again to go see the movie The King of Kong. Totally brilliant and hilarious; I recommend it whole-heartedly. You don’t even have to be a video-game geek to enjoy it, but it will certainly help if you are one. It’s more about the nature of competition, and the sacrifices people make, and the lengths to which they will go to be on top. Classic line, that won’t ruin it for you: “Some people waste their whole life trying to get in [to the Guinness Book of World Records].” Yup, great movie. Loved it.

Gotta clean up and make another hospital visit now.

Today is Thursday, which means that it’s Donut Day at work. It’s a simple concept, if you’re not familiar with it. On a pre-determined day, donuts arrive at the office, as if by divine providence. When I first started working there, the donuts were late one day, and everyone was freaking out. I asked my friend, “What is up with this place? People freak out if the donuts are even a few minutes late.” Nowadays, I have to admit that I’m one of the restless natives. If I have to wait for my donut until the unacceptable hour of, say, nine o’clock, you’d better look out, because heads are gonna roll, et cetera. Thank gawd that didn’t happen today, but something else funny did happen.

There were a handful of people in the break room at the same time this morning, getting their donut fix. One was our head manager–who isn’t the most popular person in the place–and another was a really attractive woman in her mid-twenties. The manager saw the woman grabbing a donut and commented, “Hey [woman’s last name], I didn’t think you ate stuff like that,” because she’s really thin.

She replied curtly, “Yeah, well, they don’t do anything to me, so–” shrugged her shoulders, smiled a little, turned and walked out of the break room, ending the conversation. The manager stood and stared out the window with a funny, faraway look in his eyes, and I could see that he was daydreaming of the two of them sitting on a sofa somewhere, sharing a plate of donuts in front of the TV, then rolling over, putting the plate on the floor and settling in for another hand job.

Last night I went to another of Tossed In’s play readings. I have to be a little more secretive about this one, because it was comprised of plays that either haven’t been performed publicly before, or were works in progress that are still being written. But I think last night was my favorite night so far.

On my way over, I stopped at InexpensiveOrganicGroceryWhereHippiesShop. Just before I got out of the car, my friend Blaine called. He asked if I had time to talk. I said, ‘of course’, and we proceeded to talk for a few minutes until I went into the store. I bought what I needed and came back out, only to find that I’d left my keys in the locked car. Thpffft. So I called FamousInsuranceCompany and got their after-hours answering service. I told the girl I’d locked my keys in my car, so she started calling locksmiths in the greater Portland area. “Locksmiths?” I asked.

“Yes,” she said. “They can help get you a new key.”

“Did you already check for towing companies?”

“Oh. . .no, I didn’t. FamousInsuranceCompany doesn’t have any business partnerships with any towing companies, so you can use whichever one you want. You may have to pay a fee, though.” Grrrrr. So I gave her the name of one I had used before, and she found the number, saying, “Okay, they should be there in about thirty to sixty minutes.”

Ten minutes later, the guy showed up. He had my car open in about twenty seconds, took a look at my insurance card and found that I do indeed have roadside assistance, so this visit was free. “Oh yeah, FamousInsuranceCompany has a special deal with us; we do everything for them.”

“Really?” I asked. “That’s great! I was told that they don’t have any partnerships or anything, and that I’d have to pay you, and maybe I’d get reimbursed.”

He laughed. “Who the heck did you talk to?”

Long story short, it turned out to be really super easy, took a fraction of the time I was estimated, and didn’t even cost me anything. I was expecting to have to give the play reading a miss, but ended up going, just a half-hour late. And boy, was I glad I did. Besides the plays being great, Tossed In surprised me by bringing me a DVD full of Jon Brion music he’s been stockpiling. Some of it I already owned, but the majority of it was live recordings and home demos and all kinds of other cool stuff; a treasure trove, really.

Tonight may very well be Laundry Night. It was a little tricky finding clean things to wear this morning. I got up ridiculously late, but I still might have made it to work on time, except that I made the mistake of reading my e-mail first, and my friend had sent me a link to a hilarious video. Curses, FamousVideoSite! Why must you have everything imaginable?

I finally joined the frickin’ twenty-first century and signed up with OnlineDVDRentalCompany the other day, so I should be getting my first one today; “Who Killed The Electric Car?” The documentary section on there is gigantic. I’m very excited about that.

That’s a ten-four, good buddy. Put the hammer down.

Over and out.

Despite my melancholy-ness in the morning, yesterday and today were great.

In the afternoon, I recorded more accordion parts for the upcoming Susie Blue CD. We also tried some piano, glockenspiel, and acoustic guitar parts, but as usual, the unsung hero of the day was the Omnichord. That little thing has proven to be worth its weight in gold.

After I got home from the recording session, Joan and I went to see Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soapbox, and it was amazing. We were surprised by the amount of sadness and pain their family has endured throughout the generations, including the current one. Fantastic story; much more about family dynamics and spiritual worldviews than about soap, definitely.

From there we went to Hama Sushi, where neither of us had been before, but turned out to be a hidden treasure. Their sushi was incredibly affordable, yet still very well-made and tasty at the same time.

After we’d had our fill of sushi, we went to Ikea. It wasn’t Joan’s first time there, but it was mine. She bought a small bag full of cool things for like $35, but somehow I ended up empty-handed. I was really only there to look, since I’ve bought so much new stuff for my apartment already. I was impressed by their use of space in their designs. Many of the pieces are meant to cram as much functionality as possible into as small a space as possible. Oh, and they also have frozen yogurt cones. :)

This morning was S & W’s wedding, which was beautiful, personal, and incredibly touching. My favorite part was where they had each guest drop a rock into a container while they poured salt over it, creating a container full of salt and stones, which symbolized the friends’ good wishes and hopes for their future. It was really beautiful. I dropped in the biggest stone I could find. Oh, and during the reception, guess who caught the garter? That’s right; good ol’ Mr. T.

Oh yeah; in case you didn’t know, my nickname is Mr. T.

The rest of the day I spent on apartment-related stuff. I found out last night that what I’d bought last week and had been using as an incredibly uncomfortable, heavy, small comforter actually turned out to be something called a ‘featherbed’ which is supposed to go UNDERNEATH the mattress pad, and make your bed softer and more padded than it was before. Sweet! As if it was possible to love my bed any more. So I put the featherbed where it belonged, and got an actual comforter.

In addition to that, I got rid of my old CD shelf (it went to someone else in my building) and a bunch of books and stuff are going to Goodwill tomorrow morning. I also put the little shelves I got from Alyssa in my bedroom, and rearranged my books and CD’s appropriately, which means that the living room is now even more opened up, and the bedroom no longer has books, CD’s, and instruments strewn all over the floor. Quite a successful day, I’d say.

Now I’m having a glass of wine and watching a nature show about macaws.

Can’t wait to try out my new-and-even-better-than-it-was-before bed. If you’ve been reading my blogs since the MySpace days, you already know how much I was in love with it, and that I’ve already raved about it at great length, but now it should be even softer and more amazing. I’m not sure how that’s possible, but I can tell you that a third–or for me, it’s probably more like a fourth–of my life just got that much better.

I’m a bit melancholy today.

I don’t think it’s anything big–most likely caused by the myriad of small worries and anxieties that have come to the surface lately, mixed with a liberal dose of exhaustion–but it’s there nonetheless, and I’m feeling it today.

It’s been a pretty decent week, though. My friend Jeannie came to visit from Virginia last week, and we finally got a chance to have lunch together on Monday. It was great to see her, and the ‘scuttlebutt’ or whatever is that she’s planning to move back to Portland in a year, after her job contract is up for renewal. Or, I suppose, NON-renewal.

The Steph Band played a show at a park down in Lake Oswego the other night, which was filmed by two local television stations. Two impossibly chipper women from the “E-Zone” came out and introduced us, telling us to “be sure to tune in and find out when tonight’s show will be aired” and all that. There were two or three camera operators, and even a crane. We all kept smiling at each other in a ‘nudge-nudge-wink-wink’ kind of way, like we couldn’t believe all this was happening for just a little ol’ band like ours. Tony Furtado joined us on guitar and banjo, and Breanna Paletta sang harmony vocals. It was about ninety degrees outside, even before the stage lights were turned on, and it seemed that every time a camera was pointed in my direction, a larger trickle of sweat would run down my face. Yeesh. I’m sure the show will be fine, though.

Thursday I was a basket case, so I stayed home and worked on my apartment. I got a couple of little lamps to go on top of the new bookshelves, and cleaned up all the random boxes of stuff that’s been floating around, some of which has been there since I moved in a year ago. I took my chair downstairs to the basement, to make more space in here, and that made a dramatic improvement. The only thing I have left to do is decide which pictures I want to get printed and framed, now that I have the perfect places for them.

Last night was S & W’s pre-wedding party. They’re getting married on Sunday morning, so last night they had a string of events for their various friends and family members to come and hang out with them. We/they started off at Vincente’s, then moved to the Lucky Labrador, then a handful of the group–myself not included–went 80’s dancing at the Fez Ballroom. It was fun, but both places were extremely loud, especially the Lucky Lab, so I could only hear about every fifth word of the conversations, which is extremely frustrating for me. I’m an introvert by nature anyway, but I AM getting better at reaching out and paying attention, so I felt very frustrated that I just couldn’t hear well enough to stay engaged. (Get it? STAY ENGAGED at a WEDDING PARTY? Now THAT’S good comedy, and THAT’S what keeps you reading this blog.)

This afternoon I’m going to record more accordion parts for Susie Blue’s upcoming CD, then Joan and I are going to see a documentary called “Dr. Bronner’s Magic Soapbox”, which I wanted to see when I went to Seattle to see Paprika a couple of months ago. It looks really great, and Joan’s one of the few people I know who appreciates a good documentary the way I do. From there, we’re going to Ikea to check out the new store. It’s all about keeping her occupied, because the guy she’s been with for the last year just started seeing somebody else, so she’s looking for ways to be out and about and distracted from thinking about all that.

We’ll see what the rest of the weekend brings, but it’s been a few days since I’d written, so I thought I should check in with you and keep you updated.