beautiful, funny, sad & true

First of all, I’d like to say that I hope you’re having a Merry Christmas and a great holiday season.  I’d also like to thank you for reading BFS&T all this time, and for bearing with me through the hiatus.  And speaking of BFS&T, it celebrated its third anniversary a couple of weeks ago.  Let’s all raise a glass of some sis-boom-bah for that.

I should mention that I’m in Seattle for the holiday week, and that this will only be a short entry, but I did want to share with you the new insult I learned today.  I overheard it on a kids’ show that my niece was watching.   A boy band of sorts was trying to put on a Christmas concert, and a policeman was harassing them and trying to thwart the concert, and one of the guys in the band referred to him as a ‘blowhole.’  As in, “Hey, shut your piehole, you blowhole!”

I think that’s going to be my new favorite insult from now on.  I love it because it sounds a bit risque and naughty without actually being naughty.  Adam Carolla’s clever portmanteau ‘jackhole’ works the same way.   ‘Manhole’ is similarly not-naughty, but in that context it just sounds all kinds of wrong.  So ‘blowhole’ is perfect.

You’re welcome.  And Merry Christmas.

First

The fish needs to say,

“Something ain’t right about this

Camel ride –

And I’m feeling so damn

Thirsty.”

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here is the recipe for Turkey a la Bean.

Remember this? It’s the one where Jon Lovitz plays a film critic, and it’s written by lots of the original writers from an obscure little show called the Simpsons or something.

I remembered it fondly, and I’ve been renewing my love for it during my free time this week. It’s completely brilliant. Here’s a ‘best of’ from the first season.

This afternoon, I took a nap for all of twenty minutes, but that was just enough time for me to have a really strange dream.

I was the cellist in a rock band, and one of the band members was buying me a monitor speaker so that I could hear myself over the band better.

We had found the speaker on Craigslist, and it was offered at a great price.  We were very excited about the deal we were getting, but we weren’t nearly as excited once we found out that the seller was a member of the Aryan Nation (I have no idea where THAT little tidbit came from, by the way).   The speaker was painted blue and red, and I thought, ‘Crap, how am I going to repaint this thing?’

As my bandmate and I were loading the speaker into the car, the seller thanked us, and BandMate said, “Hey. . .anything to help the cause!”  Once he and I were in the car, I said to BandMate, “That was a weird thing to say.  He probably thinks we’re down with the Aryan Nation now.”  BandMate replied, “Well, it was a good deal.  I didn’t want to blow it. . .”

That’s when I woke up.  TOTALLY WEIRD DREAM.

For the record, I couldn’t be less of a fan of the Aryan Nation.  Just so you know.